The saddest part of this thread is how for our own short comings we tend to want to blame others. Frends are precious and it is up to the individual to keep in contact. It is certainly not the family's responsibility. Several years ago my father in law passed away after a long painful illness. The family elected to not have a wake or a gathering. I received a call at my in-laws home and some guy read the obit and was blasting us because we elected not to have a wake. My question to him was, where were you the past 6 years he had been ill and at home? Where were you with a telephone call or a quick note to see how was he doing? If they are such good friends, keep in tuch while they are alive.